Smell ya later 2024

Roll up roll up it's another Ins and Outs list

I woke up at 8 o’clock this morning with a crick in my neck that sent pain radiating down my shoulder and thought: great. Haven’t done one bit of exercise and still managed to injure myself. Ain’t that something?

I woke up again at 10 and my shoulder felt better, like Fred had promised me it would, and immediately sent out Whatsapps alerting people to my STRIFE and Poppy said ‘omg me too’ and Annie said ‘SO DO I’ and then we agreed it was spiritual in some way (the end of 2024 not serving us anymore? Wrong place, wrong plans, itchy feet?) and all felt better.

I have wanted to write something the entire Christmas break but haven’t felt the urge - until now. Now, on today of all days, when I have 3 whole plans (bake a ham, make banoffee pie, walk to the pharmacy) so this one is really on a time limit but here we go here go.

Christmas has been different this year because we couldn’t leave London, so we spent the day with friends (10/10 would recommend) and have spent the following days - the gooch of the year, if you like - swaddled in blankets, plodding between bed, fridge, sofa, on repeat and sleeping 10+ hours a night. I’m unsure if I recommend this, actually. YES it is nice to let the soft animal of my body do what it likes, but every morning my head feels fuzzier and my mouth a bit drier and just this morning I woke up with that crick, remember? Isn’t that a sign?

End of year melancholy aside, and buoyed by the sense of BRAND NEW energy that New Year gives us all (thanks capitalism!) I have written my Ins and Outs which precisely nobody asked for but here they are anyway.

IN:

• Getting up as soon as I’m awake

• Well dressed salads

• Keeping promises to myself

• Calling lunch ‘luncheon’

• Routine

• Früli

• Not caring if you think my tuna lunch stinks

• Saunas

• Using a pestle and mortar

• Sims 4 expansion packs

• Shoes that give me blisters but look good

OUT:

• Working in a pub

• 6am finishes

• Pretending I don’t love WhatsApp

• TikTok

• Checking screen time

• Meat flavoured crisps

• Inefficient loo roll dispensers

• Viral clothing items

• Being governable

• Never carrying cash

• Negronis

I should admit here that Chat GPT and Vaping should have landed on this list somewhere, but I couldn’t decide which side of the fence I want to sit on yet, so for now they are off.

Speaking of Chat GPT, I actually asked it yesterday to plan my life out based on my goals for 2025. I answered 10 questions, and it came up with a daily and weekly planner of how I should spend my time. (Side note: I am sure in years to come there will be plenty of online discourse about how ridiculous treating ChatGPT as your therapist is, but bear with me).

My first thought when seeing my schedule was shit, that’s a lot of doing. But then reminded myself I used to get up, fully dressed and makeup’d, and out the door by 8am every single weekday. So it IS possible. And those weekends where I do nothing seem to fly by in a split second, but ones filled with plans feel much longer - too long sometimes - so maybe more action will help with the fact that it is 2025 tomorrow and we will be closer to 2030 than 2020 and and and.

If I had to sum up 2024 in one word it would be GRINDING. Like the grinding of gears, or the grinding of teeth. Trying and failing and giving up and trying and wanting and not getting and wanting and getting but all of it slow. Slow progress, slow failures, slow friendships, slow learnings, slowing down. Neither good nor bad. Or maybe it’s like the period of time in a cartoon where bugs bunny gears up to run, but before he makes any progress his cartoon legs just wheel around underneath himself for a few seconds. We’ll have to wait until next year to see.

Anyway, I will end this meandering note to the internet here, and get on with looking forward to my pharmacy trip, and the inevitable grumpiness I’ll experience tonight at New Years. Next year I have promised to write every single week (!) so expect the frequency of my writing to increase while the quality probably decreases for a bit.

See - there is lots to look forward to :)

Jess x